Editor’s Note: This isn’t a very popular website. In fact it sucks pure shit. The layout is amateur and the content is filthy and depraved, and the content that isn’t gross is poetry.
To be honest I figured Hustler would have contacted me by now to write sadistic and perverse stories about hitting on my cousins during the holidays over some Christmas sandwiches and then hardcore fucking without a condom on in her car only to blow my load on the E brake, their tits and jean miniskirts, then wiping my dick off with the paper bag my tall boy came in. My first threesome was with my cousins.
The minimal amount of traffic it receives comes largely from me and the two other writers that contribute to the site and roughly three or four fans we don’t know about. According to Google Analytics it literally receives three to ten hits a day. Not exactly a powerhouse, certainly not enough to create interest from any party or advertising agency in the world. I’d like to make money, lots of it, I’d advertise on the site.
Well my bad luck has turned to good luck or so it seemed, Language Abuse was about to sell out to some Eurosmuut company for literally tens of dollars a year. things didn’t pan out. Please read the email below,
Hi Languageabuse.com,
I work for _____; a UK based Digital Marketing Company.
We represent clients interested in social media marketing on smaller sites with little or no existing advertising and we’re currently looking for advertising partners.
We pay a fixed upfront annual fee which we will agree on with you. Once the ad is in place, payment is made within approximately 48 hours.
Would you be interested in placing a small text-based ad on Languageabuse.com?
Kind regards,
Language Abuse – I need more details.
Hi Liam,
It is great to hear from you!
We have a client from the Online gaming, Finance, telecommunications, tourism, fashion, aviation, education or health that I think would be a good fit to both your site and your readership’s interests. I will be happy to provide you more details regarding this client once you have reviewed my proposal.
Basically what we have in mind is to sponsor a new page or post on your site.
Our team of content writers will create an entirely new page that will be tailored to fit with the current content of the site. We will make sure that you agree with how the new page has been put together before asking you to place it live on your site.
We would offer you 180 USD a year for this kind of advertisement.
We pay for a year of advertising upfront. We also aim to complete payment via secure payment partners Paypal or Moneybookers in as soon as 48 hours of the advert going live on your site.
You may also read our terms and conditions here: _____
Once you agree to continue we will be glad to send you the text details on the advert of your choice for your review.
Let me know if you are interested Liam. If you have any questions please feel free to let me know as well.
I look forward to your response and many thanks!
Best regards,
Language Abuse – I’m going with a more lucrative hard core porn advertisment. They suit Language Abuses niche better. They are able to provide titty fist fucking action shots and shit and piss play with glory holes for blind people. But thanks for your interest. If you are able to pay me $5,000 personally and offer to provide assholes shitting and children blowing their parents dormant turds on my site then we can make a deal. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass.
Hi Liam,
I understand, thank you for replying to me. If you change your mind or if an opportunity for business comes up please feel free to send me an e-mail. Just as well, if you or your friends have other sites that accommodate text-based advertising, I’d be really grateful if you could send me a list for review.
Thank you again and I wish you all the best for the future.
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