Dick Valentine – This is where we are tonight. Everybody under surveillance from a satellite. You can be the first one on your block to die.
Today I found out from Kathy Griffin that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has ended. She didn’t call me, we don’t even know each other. I follow her Twitter feed. Not because I think she’s funny but simply I find her sexy, visually.
Basically I am hoping for the day we can have sex. Not just any sex but I want her to beat the shit out of me, black eyes, jam strange things up my butt, choke me out with a timing belt, I mean really hurt me. I think its because I assume she has the capabilities to do so. A lonely man can dream can’t he?
Enough kudos to her and for her, I really want to elaborate on why the GOP should be thrilled that gays can now serve in the military, because they should have promoted second class citizens like homos to go into the army all along. Historically gays are the only unique exception for military inclusion. Blacks, Indians and even illegal immigrants get to go into the army and take a shrapnel for the team. Why not they gays? Such a wacky world. So much for military exclusivity now that Obama is actually ruining earth starting with the military.
Let me clarify, gays are only second class because only the traditionalist generation votes, not because of any personal bigotry I hold towards them. If any of you follow me then you know I hate the Mormons, Catholics, Jews, Maidu Indians (in fact all Indians but I hate the Maidu the most), single unwed mothers, divorced mothers, mothers, women, people on welfare, half black half white people, Bangladeshis, all Arabs including Iranians, communists, anarchists, nouveau hippies, and hipsters. Other than those demographics I don’t really care what you are. Never the gays.
I think if the GOP in the millionaires club were presented with several reasons why gays should be included in the military years ago, we probably would have won Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, the Bay of Pigs, and possibly the Homeric failure of the FBI’s Fast and Furious program. It must be a hard dick to swallow knowing that if gays were included in any of these operations the US wouldn’t be seen as such fags that can’t even be violent right.
The first reason I would present to the GOP for gays in the military is during wartime gays could probably ass-rape their enemies way fucking harder than a non gay ass raper raping his enemies. Thus demoralizing the enemy. Imagine the ass rape contests between straights and gays behind enemy lines.
Second, hire gays that have AIDS. This has been an effective weapon of war in Africa. Soldiers that know they are infected with the virus knowingly rape their victims, giving them AIDS. Not a bad idea to rape Arabs including Iranians in the butt, spreading a non curable disease to a permanent enemy. Introducing AIDS into the Arab world including Iranians would change demographics and migration and terrorist patterns. And Merck’s stock would skyrocket.
The third reason why the GOP should have considered gays in the military a long time ago is, the introduction of glory holes in the port o-potties, bunkers, and submarines proving a safe sexual outlet. Everyone loves a good old fashioned glory hole. Since overturning DADT the GOP are drafting a non-binding resolution to rename glory holes to victory holes in commemoration.
Fourth, if the GOP in Congress aren’t all total gay ass closet fags then they would appreciate more gays dying in several total bullshit wars. Is a gay dying in a meaningless war better than one dying in a useful war? Yes. You’d think the GOP would recruit only gays to fight in Afghanistan, Iraq and Vietnam. But then again if they’re all closet fags, they’re definitely protecting their own. The jig is up.
Five, the GOP can single handedly revive CD sales of country music. A recent survey notes that people who listen to country music can’t figure out how to download music. I just spoke with Toby Kieth’s manager and he’s already in the studio dedicating a whole album to revoking Don’t ask Don’t Tell. Conversely no one will ever download Toby Kieth’s album.
Finally, Mitt Romney can gang bang his colleagues without having to dip into his PAC funds. Just be careful Mitt, play rape can easily turn into real rape.
We all love a gay, its time they get a couple head shots along with the straights in the military.
Kathy Griffin call me. Toby Kieth eat a dick. GOP I’d say eat a dick but there’s enough evidence out there that you choke on some serious cocks already. Also GOP I feel sorry for you, it must be hard if you actually do listen to your constituency and your gay.
semper erectus
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